I Wanted to be Angry!
The Thursday before Irma hit Florida was a very trying time for me. My Friday morning didn’t begin so well either. Brielle (my daughter) was upset because she didn’t want to wear a particular colored shirt to school. My husband volunteered to help “in a not so polite way.” Tsk- tsk. Pregnancy hormones and anger are not a good mixture for anyone. Thankfully, daddy dearest just walked away with a scowl on his face. I didn’t feel any restraint nor grace at that moment (just blatantly ignored the Holy Spirit telling me to remain calm.) I left for work and made a quick stop by Publix. The produce manager was so kind. In my opinion, Publix is the place to go if you need a quick boost of happiness. The manager asked me if I needed anything. While smiling, I told him “No.” I quickly turned back to him to say, “Yes, I need a housekeeper, chef, nanny, and a vacation!” For some reason, no words came out of my mouth. He probably thought that I was a little weird because I paused and stared at him. But I honestly wanted to tell this guy all of the above, LOL! I can’t be the only one who has ever felt like spewing out their problems/needs to a stranger. My focus had quickly shifted to temporary problems and not to the one who can provide a solution. I got myself together to pray. It still took awhile before everything returned to normalcy. There was the issue of me not totally letting go of the opposition. I wanted to be angry, frustrated, and pop-off. How silly it sounds to feel that way, but it’s the truth. Even in my pettiness, God still loved me enough to send a reminder of forgiveness and his reassurance of having everything in his control.
I released the pain. Our sovereign Lord gave me peace and began to shift those wayward things around for me. Totally surrendering your hurt to Christ will make a difference in your perspective of the dilemmas you face. Just being human, we sometimes allow trials to overtake us, but we have to quickly turn to the word of God and prayer. When we build a relationship with Christ he will always give us that nudge to walk in love, peace, and truth…even when we do not want to.