No, Sorry?

I really felt led to repost this blog  and a little after a conversation with my cousin and friend.

I had to learn how to move forward without hearing I am sorry.

Some people had no clue they hurt me. Others were not in a place to show humility for their negative actions. I didn’t want to forgive anyone. I needed them to acknowledge they hurt me.

God allowed me to see his heart.  The same heart he gave me, after I accepted him into my life.  Jesus asked God to forgive those who took part in his crucifixion…while they divided his clothes, and gambled for them (Luke 23:34 The Bible). Jesus knew he was sent to die for our sins. He could not accomplish this goal without forgiving his abusers.

I have purpose. I cannot fulfill it with  an unforgiving heart. God gave me the strength to forgive. It was not an EASY thing for me to do. Especially when I suffered hurt from those I love. I had to move forward without hearing I am sorry.  I refuse to have unforgiveness hindering me from truly being happy; and enjoying life.

Do not allow I’m Sorry to be your downfall.

Some people do not have the capacity to acknowledge the need to apologize for wronging others. I’ve seen so many reality shows with friends fighting and then the expectation of someone to say the magic words, ‘I’m sorry.” When this does not occur, the hurt peer lashes out from the pain. Then you have hurting people, hurting each other. There is no resolve to the damage, if this type of behavior continues. As much as it pains you, forgive to live. A part of our life stops in that moment when we choose to live in the misery. Let me explain: if a close friend betrays your trust, you are hurt and upset by this action. Most likely, the friendship is over or it’s never the same. Fast forward down the line of life, a trust worthy person crosses our path who possess the qualities of a true confidant. Unfortunately, the wounds from the past keeps you from truly engaging in a relationship that has the potential to change your life. We have friends that give us a new lease on life. They  have the capacity to open new doors in pursuing our purpose. I have people in my life who keep me grounded and progressive.  We can also use a bad divorce, terrible boyfriend or girlfriend breakup in place of the reckless friend…different scenario, but same ending.

I’ve come to a place when someone hurts me, I quickly identify the hurt and tell myself, “I forgive them”. Now, it is not always easy. But, I cannot afford to wallow in offense. The best revenge is not your paper. It is forgiveness.

 

 

Pain

In our pain we can find peace. How? The reassurance of knowing what your experiencing is for a brief moment.

In our pain we can grow. How? As the old saying goes…what does not kill you; makes you stronger.

In our pain we can find our true self. How? You realize who you are and what you’re made of.

In our pain we can find unity. How? What God has joined together, let no man put asunder.

In our pain we can find freedom. How? Let go of what’s hurting you.

Embrace your pain; and find your path.

After giving Birth…I didn’t know…

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I didn’t know, I would feel so sad. I didn’t know, my tears would be my bedtime lullaby. I didn’t know, I would want to leave. I didn’t know, if I could stand. I didn’t know, my life would be turned upside down. I didn’t know, sleep was just a dream. I didn’t know, I would receive so many overwhelming opinions. I didn’t know, if I would ever feel “normal” again. I didn’t know, I would need to lay on the couch. I didn’t know, my husband couldn’t empathize with my pain. I didn’t know, my marriage would be tested. I didn’t know, what to expect when the unexpected occurred.

I now know, my sadness was temporary. I now know, leaving was never an option. I now know, I stand strong with pride. I now know, my life has gotten better. I now know, rest did return. I now know, my opinion is what matters. I now know, my life was never off course.  I now know, my tears are part of my joy.  I now know, the couch is comfortable. I now know, my husband can only sympathize with my pain. I now know, my marriage is built to last.

I now know, it was always predestined for me to overcome the unexpected.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

One Sock and Two Towels

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As I was folding laundry, my 7 month old daughter decided to dive into a pile of neatly folded tshirts.  I rolled her to the headboard (trying to by time before she rolled and scooted her way back to destroy the folded mounds of clothes). To my disappointment…she made it back fairly quickly. She grabbed  a sock and two towels. I took the items from her.  I pushed her back to the the headboard.  The same routine played out a couple of times before I had an epiphany. It hit me like a angry baby with flailing hands coming across my face, why am I fighting this losing battle? Let her chew on the sock and play with the towels. An easy fix!! Happy to tell ya…I completed the laundry without anymore disturbances:)

This ordeal reminded me of how much time I have wasted on battles that I never needed to fight; or the loses I could have taken to have more in the end. It’s ok for my husband to have the last word in a heated discussion for the sake of peace. The truth always prevail (ladies we are right 90% of the time;). I do not have to blow my horn at the driver who is creeping down the highway in front of me.  Besides, we’ll probably end up at the red light at the same time.  BETTER yet-I am being saved from a car accident.

Don’t waste your time on minute things. Focus on what’s important.  One wet sock and two unfolded towels allowed me to get my job done.

PTaylor2014 January 20, 2014 1 Comment Permalink

Behind the Smile

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You’re holding up so well.  I would have never guessed you were dealing with that situation. You are handling everything like a pro.  You look so wonderful. Often times we hear these phrases when we’re at our lowest point. No one never really knowing the pain we hide BEHIND the SMILE.  It gets easier to put on a masquerade when you have done it for so long….only losing yourself  in the facade.

But soon, you grow weary because the pain becomes unbearable. You sit alone thinking, who can I talk to?  Who can I remove this mask in front of? I need to cry these overdue tears? I’ve spoken to God, but now I need a shoulder to cry  on.  Someone to tell me it’s going to get better.

I realized it was ok to cry.  Do not be ashamed to show your bleeding heart to that close relative or friend. If you need to, see a counselor. I DID!

There is no need to be a pretend superwoman…when you’re the one needing to be rescued.

PTaylor2014 January 16, 2014 1 Comment Permalink

Part of the Miracle

We often pray for miracles to take place in our lives. But, are we always prepared for it. I am in the midst of experiencing a miracle God gave to my family. My husband was blessed with a new kidney 2 weeks before Christmas. I didn’t realize all the transplant entailed. It requires more doctor visits and all 9 fruits of the spirit. I was thinking once the transplant took place we would never step foot in another hospital. Needless to say, 4 weeks later he was readmitted. Thankfully, all is well.
Our miracle has been a great avenue of character development and strength. At times, I get frustrated and overwhelmed by this process. My husband is not always the best patient… Let’s be honest, most men are bad patients. So, I need an extra dose of patience and restraint of the tongue (that small muscle with a lot of power).
Sometimes our miracles refine us into better people. God will never put more on us than we can bear. My husband and I prayed for it to come in God’s perfect timing. It did! God has equipped me with everything I need to endure at this time. This part of the blessing is temporary. The miracle is permanent.

My anniversary

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Yesterday, my husband and I celebrated our 2nd wedding anniversary. It was a quiet evening. NOt really, FSU and Auburn played against each other. My husband is a huge FSU fan. Do you know where I’m going with this? Yes, the love of my life enjoyed every minute of the game.

You may think I was upset…nope! We ate dinner together during the first half of the football game. He slurped down chicken and dumpling soup. I gracefully consumed baked spaghetti. For desert, we delighted in chocolate dipped strawberries. So far from romantic, but it was nice being able to share the time with my husband. He discussed football; and I reminisced about our first wedding anniversary.

I enjoyed our evening. Life is so short. We have to embrace each moment…even if it’s during a football game.

This untamed member

I’ve been trying to master the art of  controlling my tongue.  The other day, I really prayed for guidance with that little pink muscle. I confessed positive scriptures over my mouth.  I said things like…God guard my tongue, I am an overcomer, and I will respond in a positive manner.  I also, reminded myself of how negative reactions bring division in relationships.  I felt so equipped and ready to deal with any negativity.

Unfortunately, I failed miserably. I was so disappointed in myself.  How could I mess up so royally? Well, let me tell you why.  It’s a process to control the tongue.  It’s one of the smallest parts of the body, but can be the most damaging. 9 out of 10, I will probably pass a few tests and fail a couple more.  Most importantly, I’m not going to give up with mastering my tongue.  I will shut my mouth, PRAY more, bite my tongue, walk away…to name a few positive exit strategies.

It’s imperative that I conquer this quest because I refuse to tear up my relationships.  The purpose of my tongue is to speak life, positive aspirations, and numero uno…Praise God!

Challenge yourself daily to be more conscious of what you say and how you say it.  Tame the tongue!

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