Great News!

Hello My Faithful Friends,

My blog was chosen as one of the top 100 mommy bloggers for Brandballot 2018-2019!! I am overjoyed and blessed to be chosen for this acknowledgement. Never be afraid to follow what God has directed to do. Your obedience will open doors you have never fathomed!! Step out today!!  Thank you for reading about my journey in life.

Brand Ballot

 

https://www.brandballot.com/best-mommy-blogs/

 

We Made it to Kindergarten

Five years ago, I sat on the edge of my bed holding my daughter, Brielle. She was only a few months old at the time. My entire being was flooded with sadness and depression. I couldn’t enjoy the the fullness of her life. I wanted a “redo.” Having a baby proved to be more than I could handle mentally. God had made a mistake in allowing me to carry a healthy child full term. My thoughts were warped with confusion. I remember so vividly asking God to fast forward Brielle to five years old. One thousand eight hundred and twenty-five days later, she is five years old. Thankfully, postpartum depression had a short reign in my life and I can embrace Brielle with an overwhelming love! Now, I have to adjust to her entering Kindergarten. I keep wondering if I am teaching Brielle enough about life. As an educator, my eyes and ears have witnessed the best and worst of kids in their finest moments. The constant thoughts of me me thinking, “did I prepare Brielle for this next stage in  life? Is she strong enough to stand up to kids who are a little more overbearing and quarrelsome? Did my lessons on respect and self esteem take root in her heart.” We pride ourselves in making sure Brielle knows who she is based on her self confidence, not on others perception. She will see more of the world as she journeys  outside of the Pre-K realm and realize life is not based on fairy tales. I would love to keep her right under me forever, but Brielle must make her own mark on the world. At this point, I want her to enjoy Kindergarten and all of its offerings. She needs to feel the warm sunshine as she runs around the playground giggling with her classmates, savor the school lunches, and absorb all the knowledge that is being poured into her daily. I have no doubt she will love art. She has remnants of her art creations throughout the house on the carpet, walls, and furniture. Creating things is her passion. One of our main goals is to give her a spiritual foundation. She needs to understand the extent of God’s love that is available to everyone, regardless of one’s choices. Her little mind never seems to stop. We answer at least a million questions a day (literally) on “why is why?” My husband and I pray for patience to endure it all. There really is no handbook on “parenting Brielle Taylor.” It consists of much prayer, faith, and tests. Getting to this point has been more than I have ever imagined or knew I could handle. I’m thankful for God’s grace in seeing me through the darkest hours to witness the light of now and the days ahead in raising Brielle Taylor with my wonderful husband.

A Rant of Gratefulness

Oh my goodness, baby number two is no joke! I’ve seen so many shows, social media posts, and ads of how flawless folks make parenting look. I sit confused thinking, “Dang, what am I doing wrong?” Sometimes, I post pictures of my beautiful children on social media. The final photo is usually after a couple (okay a lot) of snaps were discarded. You know the ones, with the baby falling out or your oldest daughter refusing to smile (after a bribe you see all of her teeth). There is never a one snap perfect picture. Beyond pictures, I have the once dreadful car rides. We can now drive peacefully in a car with Ava. Thank God! Our mobile trips had me literally in tears because of the screaming and crying showered upon us by my beautiful baby. She hated being strapped down in the car seat and did not want me to stop at any point of the ride. We all know that is not realistic. To avoid heavy traffic and red lights, I would ride at least 15 minutes out of the way. There is no cushy way to write about how much work goes into being a parent, wife, and career woman. At times, I am just too tired to smile. I know parents with more than 2 kids are probably rolling their eyes at me, but this is my truth.

Having children is like figuring out how to fit puzzle pieces together on nearly a daily basis. And having multiple kids is like those small middle pieces of a puzzle. It ain’t easy. The pressure of making sure my oldest daughter does not feel left out is always a constant thought in the back of my mind. I have to make sure everyone is hugged and kissed on. Of course, when you have an infant, the household is shortchanged because the little one requires so much attention. Recently, I was running around the house and rolling on the floor with Brielle. Her eyes held this extra sparkle of enjoyment. The twinkle in my daughter’s eyes revealed to me the realization and the importance of spending more time alone with her. It was a moment of personal chastising. I had been mommy the manager, but not mommy the nurturer.  My motherly intuition helped me to duly note the importance of clearing out my schedule for her. NOW, my house no longer holds the cleanliness I am accustomed to or would like. It is now a small Toys ‘r us/Sesame Street/Barbie life rolled into one. Oh dear, I forgot the baby doll nursery. Friends, you didn’t tell me about the toys that would become our new bed buddies. Not sure how toys mysteriously appear under my sheets and comforter. Do you know? My daughter doesn’t. Honey, let me not talk about the overflowing mountain of laundry that needs to be folded as I write this blog post.

There is no perfect way of mothering, nor being a wife. You have to figure out what works best for your household. If grilled cheese, a bowl of cereal (with or without milk), or popcorn is the best you can muster up for dinner some some nights, then hey… The kids ate. Do not let social media or people dictate how to run YOUR home. Drive your minivan at your speed.

I often sit and think to myself I prayed for all of this. Most importantly, God honored my prayers. I figure if he listened then he knew I was more than capable of handling it all.

 

Waiting…

I will never forget the day my cousin Tekoa and I were picking up lunch from Pollo Tropical. She was sitting in the passenger seat flipping through the pages of a magazine. She quickly stopped while looking at an article featuring Senator (at that time) Barack Obama. She said, “He is going to run for president.” My first thought was, “I have no clue who Barack Obama is.” My response was, “Wow!” We talked a few more minutes about Obama and perused through the photos.

Four years after that conversation, Barack Obama became the first African-American president of the United States of America. He went through a process to set him in preparation to lead our nation. I can not begin to fathom the barriers he had to fight along the way. He not only had to endure the stress of fully learning the United States’ political system, but also overcoming racial inequalities. In addition, listening to those who told him he couldn’t accomplish such a difficult task. I’m pretty sure President Obama had enough opposition to not try, but thankfully he did!
President Obama’s perseverance gave hope to many people who stopped believing. He rewrote history for many lives. His waiting process groomed him into something great. This is a perfect example of what’s available to us. We must never take our refining time for granted. If God has confirmed a specific result to you, hold on to it! Our wait does not necessarily mean no, it means “wait.” You must continue to work on the task before you with all diligence. God knows when it’s time for us to be presented before others.
Think about this… What great impacts will you make after the waiting process? Allow God to groom you for his glory.

1 Peter 5:7 I know how great this makes you feel, even though you have to put up with every kind of aggravation in the meantime. Pure gold put in the fire comes out of it proved pure; genuine faith put through this suffering comes out proved genuine. When Jesus wraps this all up, it’s your faith, not your gold, that God will have on display as evidence of his victory.

The 2nd Time Around

We welcomed Ava Rose into our lives November 27, 2017. Along with her came joy, happiness, smiles, sleepless nights, very little cooking, disagreements, and a few tears. Transitioning into the life of a parent of two is not an easy task. First of all, you have to figure out how to tend to the needs of this new little person. True enough, I had experience from my first child, but it is different with another baby. You have to learn their temperament and remember those little things that may have slipped your memory after four years. Secondly, figuring out a balance in life is on another level. You want to be the best for everybody without disappointing nor hurting anyone. Thirdly to infinity, everyday is new and improved including the disasters (all learning curves). I am so imperfect at it all. My fallacies keep me reaching for my internal strength, the Holy Spirit. God was so thoughtful to send us this awesome guide and comforter. He knew years ago, you and I would need guidance to navigate through life. Motherhood can be extremely overwhelming at times, not to mention being a wife as well. We face many obstacles while trying to be virtuous in all areas. The most important detail that we must focus on is putting ourselves first while accomplishing everything.  There is  no way we can be great without being whole. The Holy Spirit constantly tells me when I’m shifting off course, plus my hormones are still imbalanced.  I need a lot of realignment through prayer and the word. Great thanks to the special people God has strategically placed in my life! The phone calls and texts just to say, thinking and praying for you are so uplifting. They’re ALWAYS right on time! Our savior has all the bases covered.

It’s a blessing be a mother and wife. Undoubtedly, there will be plenty of off days with everyone within my household and life, but thankfully, we can get directions whenever needed.

“In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know how we ought to pray, but the Spirit Himself intercedes for us with groans too deep for words” (NIV, Romans 8:26).

 

 

The Big Decision…Updated

My own personal struggle of deciding to have another child was very taxing, mentally. “One is enough,” I thought. I couldn’t fathom going through the pain of having another child. The thought of getting pregnant would make my heart palpitate or render me into a very emotional state. It was all too overwhelming for me to handle. So, I decided to stop others from discussing the issue with me by refusing to talk about it.

Of course, I’m not getting any younger. My husband would really like another child and Brielle needs a sibling. I thought I had dealt with my fears and finished healing from postpartum depression. Although I came to the realization that, I was not completely healed. I went before God broken and in distress. I needed him to remove the anxiety, fear, and pain. I cried unto him during many car rides and morning prayers. I could never do this on my own. I knew my true strength and peace could only come from God.

Thankfully, God has extended his grace. The buried anxieties and fears no longer reside within me. Hold on a second… I am a little nervous about losing sleep. Brielle is at the age when I can actually sleep-in a little longer, even if it is only until 8:30 or so. Oh, how I love sleep!

Happily, we are trying for a BOY! At least, that’s our prayer!

For those who have dealt with postpartum depression, never allow anyone to pressure you into having a baby until you are emotionally and physically ready. Seek any necessary help to deal with your fears and concerns. You have to be healthy for you! There is HOPE!

The above blog was written about two years ago. My husband and I are expecting a healthy baby GIRL in a few days… It could be earlier depending on when she decides to grace us with her presence. The news of me having another child was a little hard for me to grasp because I knew life was getting ready to change drastically. Thinking of the sleepless nights that lay ahead had me in a twilight zone. I also had to deal with the thought of the strain having my first child put on my marriage. A new baby weighs so heavily on your norm. There are so many adjustments you make as a couple that you are not prepared to deal with. Thankfully, we made it!! Next, I had to deal with my “age.” Being 40 and getting pregnant was one thing, then I turned 41 during the process! For a brief moment, I actually cared what others would say about me being pregnant at 41 years of age. SMH… silly of me to feel ashamed of something God deemed me worthy to experience. It’s my body and family’s blessing. When I am age 60, my 2nd child will only be 20 therefore, it’s mandatory that I keep my health up to par so i’ll be around for a long time… Lol!

As mentioned earlier, I experienced postpartum depression after giving birth to my oddest daughter. The struggle of PD forced me into handling life so differently. It taught me to value me over things that were/are minuet. My “no” was “NO” and “yes” was “YES!” I can not say that the delivery of my decisions was always Christ-like. Let’s blame it on the hormones. 🙂   The first trimester of this 2nd pregnancy caused me to relive some moments of the PPD, due to my evening bouts with nausea, and some unforeseen life occurrences within my family. I have to save that information for a later post… it’s real juicy. As a result of God’s grace, he sustained my mental state. Prayer and the word were/are my sword. The enemy tried to send a package I could not accept. He has no power nor authority over anything concerning me. Thank God for my husband, he learned to be very supportive through this pregnancy. We had our ups and downs, but we stood our ground. I know my pettiness and mood swings wear him out (shoulder shrugging). He was built for me! We are looking forward to welcoming our 2nd precious daughter into this world.

I will keep  you posted on this next journey of my life. There is no doubt that having a second child will bring new lessons of growth that will continue to push me into my true essence of being God’s favorite girl.

I Wanted to be Angry!

The Thursday before Irma hit Florida was a very trying time for me. My Friday morning didn’t begin so well either. Brielle (my daughter) was upset because she didn’t want to wear a particular colored shirt to school. My husband volunteered to help “in a not so polite way.” Tsk- tsk. Pregnancy hormones and anger are not a good mixture for anyone. Thankfully, daddy dearest just walked away with a scowl on his face. I didn’t feel any restraint nor grace at that moment (just blatantly ignored the Holy Spirit telling me to remain calm.) I left for work and made a quick stop by Publix. The produce manager was so kind. In my opinion, Publix is the place to go if you need a quick boost of happiness. The manager asked me if I needed anything. While smiling, I told him “No.” I quickly turned back to him to say, “Yes, I need a housekeeper, chef, nanny, and a vacation!” For some reason, no words came out of my mouth. He probably thought that I was a little weird because I paused and stared at him. But I honestly wanted to tell this guy all of the above, LOL! I can’t be the only one who has ever felt like spewing out their problems/needs to a stranger. My focus had quickly shifted to temporary problems and not to the one who can provide a solution. I got myself together to pray.  It still took awhile before everything returned to normalcy. There was the issue of me not totally letting go of the opposition. I wanted to be angry, frustrated, and pop-off.  How silly it sounds to feel that way, but it’s the truth. Even in my pettiness, God still loved me enough to send a reminder of forgiveness and his reassurance of having everything in his control.

I released the pain. Our sovereign Lord gave me peace and began to shift those wayward things around for me.  Totally surrendering your hurt to Christ will make a difference in your perspective of the dilemmas you face. Just being human, we sometimes allow trials to overtake us, but we have to quickly turn to the word of God and prayer. When we build a relationship with Christ he will always give us that nudge to walk in love, peace, and truth…even when we do not want to.

 

 

 

Follow God’s Lead

About four months ago, as I was rocking my daughter to sleep, I began to pray. I asked God, “What is my next move in life?” I was/am longing for greater things. I immediately heard his reply, “Start a blog.” I thought, “What?” I had no clue about starting a blog. Plus, I didn’t feel I was a good writer. I will comma splice or omit punctuation at any given moment. To top it off, I was not computer savvy! Evidently, I heard the wrong answer. That is not what God was saying to me.

Nevertheless, I listened… approximately two weeks later. I researched how to start a blog on the internet, prayed for direction, perused different blogs to get ideas, and I asked for help. Within three weeks, Pamela Taylor’s Truth was birthed. Unfortunately, I stalled advertising my site for about a month. I was scared. I didn’t want people to think I was crazy nor let them into my personal world. Then it hit me! God directed me to create this blog for a purpose. It was not all about me, other people need to hear about my truth – my journey. I moved forward.

Through my blog, I have experienced complete healing from Postpartum Depression, continue to become a better wife (I hope my husband feels the same way) and mother, and touched the heart of those who visit my site. Plus, my resume has expanded!  And I know how to set up a blog site AND add plug-ins!!!

What has God compelled you to do? Do not let fear stop you… Move forward!!! Your obedience will help others.

I wrote the above post about three years ago, I remember being so nervous to write the truth of my life. Some of my posts were written through tears and heartache/break. I have no regrets. I continue to gain more insight of life to pass on to my readers.

I’ve been so blessed by the reception of those who come to visit my site. My heart is overwhelmed with the joy God gives me as I pour myself out to you. My last writing attracted close to 500 readers!! That is a huge milestone for me. I’m like, sheesh people are really enjoying what I have to say. Honestly, I do not think my life is all that exciting, but I realize my experiences are needed to birth words of encouragement into you and myself. 🙂 I say to myself daily and to you, “Do what God has placed in your heart to accomplish.” It may seem minuet at the moment, but it will have a greater impact in the future.

I must acknowledge my wonderful sister-in-law/real sister/friend, Nicole Nobles. She was needed not only by my brother to love him to life, but to become my editor. She rocks!!! Without her, I will have comma splices all over the place. You see, writing without flaws is not my strong point. I actually let God know, during the time that he first wanted me to start this blog, that I was not embarrassing myself before people – with my “not so great” writing skills. He ignored me and kept telling me to “WRITE!”  Being the sovereign God that he is, my creator touched Nicole’s heart to assist me. See how the Almighty works, my act of obedience opened the door for something I needed to be “Great in His eyes!”

I know the first steps of obedience are liken to walking through a dark room without any windows. Trust me, the light will come. Follow God’s leading and move out in faith!

Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen (KJV, Hebrews 11:1)

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future (NIV, Jeremiah 29:11)

 

Just Human

Hi, I’m just dealing with some real human stuff. None of that fake got it all together social media fluff. There are times when life hits you so hard you are left wondering if God is your protector. I feel as though a series of blows have come across my table. As humans we like to pretend everything is all hunky-dory on the outside, but inwardly we are withering under the pressure. In these moments, there is nothing wrong with crying to release the pain, calling a dear friend to share your issues, or most importantly praying. Honestly, all three work for me. We are not robots that can withstand all of life’s curve balls with ease. Thankfully, God is there to make things easier. Doubt will try to creep in during our most difficult moments, if we’re not careful. The word of God says… to be steadfast, unmovable, and always abounding in the work of the Lord… (KJV, 1 Corinthians 15:58). Faith is fortified in the toughest battles. Sulking may seem to be the simplest way to handle things… it is not! There is no growth nor power in giving in to a bad situation. Every great thing we gain in life comes with a price. Too bad perfection is not free. Our hardest battles chisel our character for God’s glory.

We must fight the good fight of faith! I did, I do, I am! I can not give up on the promises of God, neither can you!

I pray that God restores your faith in all the areas where doubt has tried to creep in. You are victorious in God’s divine will for your life. There is no weapon formed that will prosper against you. I pray God removes everything that hinders your growth and the manifestation of God’s promises. I thank God for giving you the strength, patience, and wisdom through your trials. In Jesus’ name, Amen!

Trust the promise and not the process!

 

Peace Through Prayer

An age old adage we often hear or recite is “When life gives you lemons, make lemonade.” I say, “Pray!” There is nothing more powerful than this act. Recently, I had to face a difficult situation that could have resulted in a really negative effect, but because of the grace of God he forewarned me of the problem in advance. God gave me a great sense of peace to confirm all was well. I contribute the successful outcome to having a prayer life. I could have reacted and behaved in such an ugly manner that would’ve not pleased God. I encourage you to build a relationship with God through prayer and the word. He will lead, protect, and correct you when needed. There is nothing to big nor hard for him to accomplish. Our prayers are not always answered in a time frame we expect, but a solution comes within perfect timing. Pray without ceasing. 1 Thessalonians 5:17

 

Please click! A visit a day boosts my blog ranking at Top Mommy Blogs - The Best Mommy Blog Directory Ever!